I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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