we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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