im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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