Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize