I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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