i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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