It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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