I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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