accomplished twins. life is a go
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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