I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize