I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize