But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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