He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize