Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she told me i tasted like america
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
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Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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