Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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