do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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