We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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