if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize