ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize