keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want to make out with him forever
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She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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