lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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