remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize