i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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