Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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