He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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