Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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