Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize