Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize