honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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