I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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