Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize