You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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