I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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