I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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