So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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