He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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