You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
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