I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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