im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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