he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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