Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
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I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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