You're so nebulous sometimes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
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Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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