Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize