too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
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Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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