This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize