I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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