im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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