Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize