I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize