Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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