maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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